Do you find yourself feeling stuck? Once the stress from the practical issues of a relocation is settling down, many internationals find themselves entering a stagnation phase and often experience low mood. I'll explore some strategies that can assist you in moving forward.
The practical issues that present themselves when moving to a new country can be truly mind-boggling. Aside from administrative issues, such as having the basic building blocks in place (e.g., somewhere to live, your household goods, childcare and schooling sorted), getting to grips with a new health and transportation system, etc. The list of things to sort out can be truly overwhelming.
Other issues that tend to arise a bit further down the line are language barriers, cultural adaptation and integration difficulties, obstacles in obtaining work permits or having professional qualifications recognised in the new country.
On top of this you might experience feelings of guilt for being unable to help your children struggling to make friends or adapt to a new school system, as well as caring for your elderly, or sick relatives abroad.
It can be a frustrating and challenging period in your life, below follows some suggestions to help you along the way.
1. Establish your community
You might be missing old friends, colleagues, or the way of life in the last place you used to live. There might be a period of grief or disbelief of what you’ve lost and fear of what the future might bring. This is completely normal and important to make space for and acknowledge. Take steps to nurture the old relationships, e.g., through regular check ins, organising future meet ups, etc.
This sudden loss of social support can be difficult. A first step to adjust to your new home is to build a tribe around you and thereby break isolation or feelings of loneliness. Tune into the local area social groups, engage in hobbies, volunteer, reach out to potential friends through social media or join professional networks.
Remember that you’re not alone in feeling you want to be unstuck and find strategies to relocate successfully. Many people have been in your situation previously and understand what you’re going through. By showing vulnerability you might connect easier with others and build deeper bonds.
2. Discover your purpose
You might experience a loss of direction, identity and perhaps lack of professional fulfilment. This in turn can have a negative impact on your self-esteem. It might send you into a downward spiral of negative beliefs about yourself, your abilities, and your environment.
If you notice any of the above signs, it’s important to clarify your values and define your purpose in your current life situation. Values are directions in the way we live our lives and it’s how we identify and find meaning in life. Our values are not static but are fluid and fluctuate over time.
At major life transitions like a relocation, it’s a good idea to pause, check in and identify what is important to you right now at this moment in time. Work out how you want to show up in the world. You might find it helpful to collaborate with a mental health practitioner to explore your values, identify your purpose and create an action plan to move you forward.
"No road is long with good company" Turkisk proverb
3. Building strong partner relationships
Relocating to a new place can take its toll on a potential romantic relationship. Suddenly the two of you are alone in a new home country. It can be exciting to explore a new area together, although if you’re not in similar headspace relationship tension can develop.
There might be some bitterness present, if one partner had to give up their employment, studies, move away from loved ones or if there are unsettled children involved. One partner might be excited to socialise and explore the new area together as a couple, whereas the other could feel overwhelmed from the new work culture, long work hours and busy schedule. This can cause a rift in the relationship.
Open communication, listening and acknowledging each other’s struggles, showing affection, problem solving and giving each other space are key in maintaining and building a solid relationship. Going through these challenges together can make your relationship thrive in the long run.
To conclude, moving to a new country can be an amazing life affirming and deeply fulfilling experience. However, it does come with its own set of challenges.
To prevent feeling stuck, concentrate on establishing a social network around you. Maintain open communication with old friends and a potential partner. Regularly assess what matters to you and try to consistently act in alignment guided by your values. In this way you can create a solid base to navigate your exciting new environment.
If you need any support on your journey, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me or another psychology professional for assistance.
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